I was surprised at my own personal reaction to seeing the Pope on television here in New York City. My hope was stirred as I saw this man who in his white robe spoke of human rights and peace. Cynic that I can be, I was moved and wondered, with the psychoanalytic part of my brain, “what was going on?” I am not a Catholic, nor am I religious. In fact, organized religion mystifies me although I see its benefits for those who choose to practice it. I began to wonder what the Pope and psychoanalysis have in common and came up with one fact: both the church and psychoanalysis are losing candidates.
Although many say ‘too little – too late’, hearing the Pope apologize for the sex abuse promulgated by his representatives and seeing him visit a synagogue, even patting babies and children, moved me. Apologies are so rare in our culture, especially from those in power and especially from men. What do apologies really mean? To me, they are signs that the ‘other’ is acknowledged. Such awareness is not easily achieved. Lack of tolerance for difference is the world’s biggest problem. Live and let live seems out of reach. Why? Why do so many of us feel threatened by another way of seeing things? Why do we cling to having our own ways? Do we believe with such conviction that our way is the best one? Based on what? Why is it so difficult to consider another point of view?Freedom is something we all seem to cherish – yet could it be that we are really afraid of freedom? Fear of freedom might explain the rigidity of our institutions – both in the church and in psychoanalytic education. Both have dogma passed on from generation to generation without a single shred of scientific evidence that such received wisdom is ‘the last word’? I remember when the church decided that a good catholic did not have to eat fish on Fridays. I don’t remember the reason, but I think that Friday will always be fish day with even non-Catholics. Freud advocated using the couch because he did not like being stared at all day, and orthodox psychoanalysts have carried on this tradition. Will psychoanalysts face the fact that they have been misguided in their dogmatic insistence on frequency of sessions and use of the couch? Perhaps. Recently some have begun to acknowledge the idea that the couch is not what qualifies psychoanalysis, although it may benefit some of us.The Pope was able to apologize to those who had been abused. He spoke of human rights, respect for differences when he visited a Jewish Synagogue. Maybe our craft will begin to thrive again when we psychoanalysts tip-toe away from dogma and begin to find our own voices based on our own experience. How will we spread the news that psychoanalysts are human beings who talk and relate to their patients; that psychoanalysts work with patients, not on them?
Libido and aggression have been on my mind lately; why is there so much aggression and so little libido in the world? Perhaps, as suggested by others, there is another drive – not based on Eros necessarily but a yearning, if you will, for forgiving others and being forgiven, for the joy of camaraderie. With enemies we can project to our hearts content all the evil, angry, hateful feelings we harbor. Enemies satisfy our basic paranoia and keep it in check. But, what do camaraderie, peaceful harmony, caring and empathy do for us? Is the wish to merge and be as one what underlies the aggression that cancels out the libido in our natures? And does this have to do with the paranoid and depressive positions Klein gave us to think about?And why is it that the male figure is so capable of inspiring either set of emotions – hate and love – and rarely the female? Why is the male so clearly dominant in all aspects of government, art, religion, justice? This is not a women’s liberation question. I think we have to understand why a man is so revered.Perhaps some insight can be found in Loewald’s paper, The Ego and Reality (1960), where he speaks of the father as saving the infant from the symbiotic tie to mother. I picture father as a raft available for the infant in its quest for separation. So, the mother/woman is dangerous in the long run. Wishes to merge with her must be overcome and so we revere father/maleness. Another naive or simplistic idea is that men have deep voices and delight the infant with something new.Independence versus neediness is what freedom is about. Can we give up our wishes to depend on a higher power to measure our skill; to seek a stamp of approval from the outside? When will we validate ourselves? Why do we seek approval from the outside? Normal, healthy narcissism allows us to enjoy praise and applause, but also allows us to approve of and to applaud ourselves. Working together leaves room for differences and debate – but it also means listening to new and different ideas and the ability to change our minds.The Pope urged American Catholics to concede the authority of the church, maybe that’s why, despite his inspiring messages, the church is losing converts. We psychoanalysts must be careful not to do the same, lest we continue to lose candidates.
